Over the past week I’ve had more advice (both solicited and unsolicited) then I can recall in recent history.

The piece of advice that is coming up most often is … you guessed it … sales (and marketing).

In a nut shell … the advice is … to make it on your own … you will need to learn how to sell.

At first I thought … groan … I hate sales.

But … as I thought more about it … it made sense … if I want people to purchase my services … if I want to make a living … build a thriving business … then I will need to learn how to sell.

So … this week … my goal has been to understand sales.

There are so many aspects to sales and marketing that I need to understand.

I’ve come up with more questions then answers … some of them are:

• What is my brand … my niche?
• Who is my Customer … who is my Client?
• What do they need? What do they value?
• How can my products and services help them?
• What are the benefits of my products and services?
• How can I influence them to see the benefits of my services?
• What is my USP … unique selling proposition?
• Why pick me over all the other possible success coaches?
• How can I sell … what do I say … how do I act?

What I’ve realized is that … this is only the beginning … sales is not something that you study for a few weeks and … voila … you have the skill.

It’s something we have been doing since we were born … that we are doing today … and … will continue to do until the day we die.

Every interaction we have … every impression we make … every word we speak … affects the sales process.

Very quickly I’ve come to realize … based on an excellent conversation over lunch (thank you Alex) … is that the key to successful sales … it to build relationships … to build connections … to establish trust … and ultimately … to help people buy.

Now this is not some gimmick to persuade people to buy your product or purchase your services.

Because the goal is … to help people buy … without trying to sell your services.

Yes … you heard me … without trying to sell.

This is truly an outstanding concept … and I feel that I’m just touching the surface here … that once I truly embrace this … that this would really work.

It just seems to make sense … the best sales interactions that I’ve ever had … two things were present.

1. The sales guy (or gal) I was dealing with wasn’t trying to sell me anything
2. I felt that the sales gal (or guy) had my best interest in mind

I recall a time when a salesmen even told me that his product was not right for me.

Now is that powerful or what … instead of pushing the sale … and potentially damaging the future relationship … assuming that I would be dissatisfied … he told me that the product was not right for me.

I’m going to be applying this concept over the next few weeks … and I promise to report back how successful it is.

As part of the job elimination process … I have access to a company that provides career transition services.

Yesterday, I meet with my coach for our first one-on-one session.

I must say that I it did not go well.

It was not my support coach.

It was me.

I went into the meeting unclear … unfocused.

I began by giving a high level … a vague picture really … of what my future plans were.

He asked me who my target market was … I couldn’t answer.

He asked me how I was going to market to them … I made up some feeble response.

It was not a good start.

I quickly began to spiral down into a wallowing pool of anxiety and self-doubt.

My expectation was that my coach would be able to help me piece together my plan … help me clarify my direction … provide suggestions for improvement.

Instead … It felt like I was selling my idea … making my pitch … having to show that I could make the entrepreneurial leap.

I expected support … I wanted reassurance that I was doing the right thing … instead I got judgment.

I was caught off guard … unprepared … and it really threw me off.

It’s as if my confidence in myself is dependent on how other people view me.

Well this is not going to work if I keep this up.

So … I’ve decided that I will never be thrown off again … meaning … I will maintain my confidence … even if I’m caught of guard.

This confidence will appear in my walk … in my appearance.

You will be able to see it when I’m standing or sitting.

This will be a confidence in my ability … confidence in my services … confidence in my belief that what I have to say has value … and will benefit others.

A confidence that … at its core … maintains the belief … that what I do matters … that what I bring … has value … and that people will pay me … yes actual dollars … for me to deliver … to give them the results that they are expecting … even exceeding those expectations … on a regular basis.

My confidence will come from within … not from without.

I will not waver … I believe … I know … that I am on the path … doing what I was meant to do.

I have taken that first step … I have taken it with confidence … a belief that will be fed from within.

My belief is that … without a doubt … I will succeed.

I’m really amazed at the amount of choice available to me right now.

From a career perspective there a so many options …

• apply for any number of new positions within my existing department
• apply for any of the positions within The Bank
• apply for jobs outside of the The Bank
• make the leap to follow my dream 

What really amazes me at this point is that with so much choice … there is really only one option.

Only one path that feels right.

Only one direction that will take me to where I want to go.

The choice is an obvious one (based on the reason for this blog) that I plan on making the leap.

I have chosen to change careers.

To follow my dream.

Going from employed to self-employed.

Transitioning from Intrapreneur to Entrepreneur.

I just find it amusing that when I have made a decision … so many other choices appear.

And when I have not … the choices seem so limiting … a scarcity of choice if you will.

Does this mean that when we follow our dream … there is only one path … and that path is filled with other tempting offers … to distract us from what we are meant to do?

It’s like we are being tested … when you have made a decision … any decision really … you can count on that decision being challenge in some way … testing our conviction … confirming our commitment to follow through.

But what about those times when there is a scarcity of choice?

I’m not talking about … avoiding choice … holding off a decision to choose … avoiding selecting a specific course of action … so that we can keep our options open.

For in fact … when we avoid choice … we are deciding not to choose … and this is still … in fact … a choice.

So what am I talking about?

I talking about those time when you feel stuck … stuck in a rut … if you will.

When the only option before you is to follow the option that you have always followed.

Staying on that safe, secure, predictable, comfortable path.

It’s interesting to note … that staying on the safe comfortable path is still a choice.

I’ve just decided to keep it out of my conscious awareness.

I’ve given away my power to choose … by living on default … by avoiding taking responsibility for my current situation.

So you see … it really is all about choice … even if I choose not to see it.

The choice is up to me.

And I choose to follow my dream.

Even though you expect it to happen … it still stresses you out.

No matter how much you are prepared.

There’s just something stressful about your job being eliminated.

Why do we hold some much onto what we do?

When someone asks you ‘what you do’ … why do we tell them our ‘position’ or ‘title’?

When asked ‘what we do’ we don’t say … I implement technology projects to improve my clients experience so that they can deliver value to the customer … we say … I’m an IT manager.

Somehow what we do … get’s wrapped up into this concept of ‘position’ … somehow we identify with this as ‘who we are’.

And when this ‘who we are’ is taken away from us … bam … it’s like a punch to the stomach.

Well it happened to me.

I’ve been punched in the stomach.

Today at 10:32am … my job … what I do … my position … who I am … was eliminated.

Even though I knew it was coming … could see it from miles away … it still knocked the wind right out of me.

Even though this is moving in the direction of what I want (more on that to come) it still felt really crummy.

That somehow … I am no longer needed … after almost 19 years of service … I no longer matter.

At this point the anxiety is kicking into overdrive.

The source of this anxiety … my need to feel valued … my desire for significance within the eyes of others …my fear of rejection … perhaps all of the above.

I need to regroup.

Review my master plan … and drive through the anxiety toward what I want.

They say that (I even say is myself) that your biggest growth can only be found on the other side of your fears.

You need to face your fear head on and drive right through it.

Well here I go … embracing my fear … moving past it … moving toward what I want.

Something’s going to happen.

I have a feeling … my intuition is telling me that something is about to materialize.

My peers and coworkers tell me that everything is fine … that everything will be ok.

Am I being paranoid?

I just don’t know … there’s just too many coincidences … just too many situations to just brush off.

Here are just a few of the signs:

• New VP brought in to lead the department … he has a history of aggressively making changes wherever he goes … his objective is to transform the area … he is also a contractor … will make his impact and move on
• New VP begins by bringing in an off-shoring company from India
• Existing Director (old boss) leaves because she does not agree with new VP … this in not a good sign since I’ve aligned myself with current boss
• Rumors start to circulate about a reorganization within the department
• New VP commits to deliver his first project (based on very aggressive timeliness) … begins by assigning new development to off-shore company
• Team begins to work very aggressively to meet project dates … working long hours (up to 80 hour weeks) … vacations canceled … working over Christmas and New Years … major burn out begins … a few casualties along the way
• New Boss’s style is very hands on … feels like I’m on a short leash … being micro managed
• Long term contractors are being let go … and being replaced by off-shore resources
• Begin to feel more and more out of the loop on what is happening within the department.
• Entire department feels that they are being lead by intimidation not inspiration

It doesn’t look good.

It’s like I’m able to see things from a different perspective.

Everyone else seems to be going about their normal business … caught up within their existing patterns and habits … holding on to what they know.

Something is going to happen … and it’s going to happen soon.

New boss asks to know the vacation schedule for the next few weeks and asks that any new requests for vacation must be cleared through her first (normally I approve vacation for all my staff) … I’ve seen this before … a few years ago we went through a similar situation … I know the signs.

The writing is on the wall.