Even though you expect it to happen … it still stresses you out.

No matter how much you are prepared.

There’s just something stressful about your job being eliminated.

Why do we hold some much onto what we do?

When someone asks you ‘what you do’ … why do we tell them our ‘position’ or ‘title’?

When asked ‘what we do’ we don’t say … I implement technology projects to improve my clients experience so that they can deliver value to the customer … we say … I’m an IT manager.

Somehow what we do … get’s wrapped up into this concept of ‘position’ … somehow we identify with this as ‘who we are’.

And when this ‘who we are’ is taken away from us … bam … it’s like a punch to the stomach.

Well it happened to me.

I’ve been punched in the stomach.

Today at 10:32am … my job … what I do … my position … who I am … was eliminated.

Even though I knew it was coming … could see it from miles away … it still knocked the wind right out of me.

Even though this is moving in the direction of what I want (more on that to come) it still felt really crummy.

That somehow … I am no longer needed … after almost 19 years of service … I no longer matter.

At this point the anxiety is kicking into overdrive.

The source of this anxiety … my need to feel valued … my desire for significance within the eyes of others …my fear of rejection … perhaps all of the above.

I need to regroup.

Review my master plan … and drive through the anxiety toward what I want.

They say that (I even say is myself) that your biggest growth can only be found on the other side of your fears.

You need to face your fear head on and drive right through it.

Well here I go … embracing my fear … moving past it … moving toward what I want.